Overcome The Fear Of Failure With This Easy Three Part Method

Fear of failure anyone?

It’s okay.

You're not alone.

I've been there and I visit regularly!

So I created a 3-part method to help you go mano-a-mano with this fear.

But first here's the raw truth - behind that fear of failure lies a primal beast: the fear of rejection.

And that bad boy taps into ancient built-in survival mechanisms.

Essentially it's the out-of-date fear of being thrown out of your prehistoric tribe and forever shunned until you let out your last hungry breath (unless the lions and tigers and bears haven't mauled you to death first).

Good news!

(not the death part)

You CAN overcome (or at least massively minimise) your fear of rejection using the (loving) ARM Method (that I made up):

Here's how it goes:

⚡️ Awareness

Accept your fear of rejection with compassion.

There may have been an incident in your childhood that caused you to attach a whole lot of misplaced meaning to it, so be as nice to yourself about it as you would be to a frightened child.

There may have been a single incident at some point in your life that hurt you deeply enough to create a sticky bond between the feeling of rejection and that particular incident causing you to avoid anything even remotely similar. Again be kind to yourself.

And while you’re being so darn self-aware and self-compassionate tune in to the voices in your head (not the ones telling you to kill - never listen to those) when they whisper sour nothings and tell you sh*t like “No one’s gonna pick up what you're putting down, dumbo”.

Listen to that voice with extra compassion. Simply observe its presence and brush it off just like a piece of lint on the sleeve of your sweater, and tell yourself the opposite: "Someone IS gonna pick up what I'm putting down cos I'm a________ (genius/badass/superhero etc)."

Now, if you do have any trapped emotions from traumatic experiences (large or small) that make sure you keep telling yourself a rejection story over and over again they need to be released...

"Better out than in" has never been truer.

 🧬  Let go of resistance. Surrender. Let it go. Emotion is just energy in motion...

You can start by:

• Journalling
• Self-helping
• Talking to someone who can guide you

And in the meantime tell that darn critic to shut their beautiful cake-hole, and to stop telling you lies, cos that’s what they are OK?

⚡️ Resilience

Ya got ta toughen up kiddo! (said with love)

Yep, it’s scary AF. However, put yourself out there anyway.

 🧬  You’ll only ever be “almost ready” and that is enough.

And if you think you actually FEEL ready it could be that you’re not quite putting yourself out there big enough or badass enough...

If you don't have wide open eyes along with an “oh f*ck oh f*ck oh f*ck” mantra and the occasional "UFF" or "Oh dayum", then you're probably playing it safe-ish and are staying a lil bit in your comfort zone.

Remember, excitement and fear are felt the same way in your body - the only difference is the thought you attach to the feeling. The meaning you give it. Either way, it’s the FEELING you are after.

CHOOSE excitement.

But what if I actually DO get rejected, Polly?

What if you DON’T!? 

OK OK let’s look at what if you DO:

Worst case scenario. What is it? List it out. List out every single scenario and the consequences. Chances are most of them aren’t even trying to win "Worst Case Scenario Of The Year"!

And if everything DOES go wrong and you get rejected, you pick yourself up, take a deep breath (prolly gonna need a lot of those) and you go again!

You take the lesson (there’s always a lesson) and you GO AGAIN.

⚡️ Mindfullness

Stay in the moment. Here. NOW.

Remember the past is a made-up story and the future is a figment of your imagination. Neither are real or actually exist. Only right NOW does. Does tomorrow ever come? Nope. Can you rerun yesterday? Nope.

So stay here, enjoy the view, and express your gratitude for being here. What a privilege it is to be alive and kicking in human form right?!

 🧬  When you are balls deep IN gratitude it's literally impossible to be in fear at the same time.

Trust in yourself and that everything is as it should be even when it looks like it isn’t. The universe is ALWAYS working in your favour, even when you aren’t with your wonky thoughts 'n' all (that can be un-wonked by the way).

The better you can hold yourself through any situation and keep putting one foot in front of the other (good, bad, ugly, fugly, and worse - the situation, not the feet) the more your energy will vibe into what you’re putting out for people to pick up.

So here it is - the (loving) ARM to help you handle the fear of rejection:

⚡️ Awareness

⚡️ Resilience

⚡️ Mindfullness

PRO TIP: Even if you feel the fear take a deep breath, do a power stance, dance, tell yourself good things, and do the thing you've been scared of: put your offer out there or apply for that job or ask that hottie out on a date.

(BTW... YOU are not defined by the success or failure of your offer. You are not defined by whether your face fits a company you have the qualifications to work for. You are not defined by whether someone wants to date you or not)

 🧬  Remember, CHOOSE excitement.

🦩 Work with me: Book 1:1 session

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